Stop asking Why and start asking How

The other day, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I came across this post:

"Depression is REAL. People can smile all day & still be broken inside!".

And I have a real problem with this...

First of all, no one is broken. I know it doesn't feel that way and, heck, I even had a doctor tell me I was broken so I get why it's so easy to believe this. But I'm here to tell you it's bullshit. Straight up, you've-been-lied-to bullshit.

Second, the fact that we have to still assert that depression is real makes me sad because it means that there are still people out there that think that having a bad day and suffering from depression are the same thing. That depression and anxiety are things that can be "snapped out of" and that if you can just figure out why and get more information you would surely see how much better life is without it.

Yeah. Duh.

So let's talk about this for a moment.

Depression IS real and it has absolutely nothing to do with someone's intelligence or ability to recognize all the reasons why they are suffering. This is one of the pitfalls of traditional cognitive behavioural therapy which believes that if you spend enough time exploring the WHY of it all, eventually you will have no choice but to change your mind and therefore heal.

The problem is that after 13 years of traditional therapy and 4 years of studying and obtaining my BA in psychology I could tell you all the reasons WHY I felt so shitty but I still had no idea HOW to make the changes.

I remember telling my psychologist at the time that my head knew exactly what she was talking about, but I didn't know how to make my heart believe it.

And therein lies the problem with traditional talk therapy.

You see, at the end of the day Why is a useless question to ask because all it does is satisfy our curiosity while providing absolute no clues as to How to start making changes.

But here's the cool thing: you can begin to work on the How without ever knowing the Why and find the healing you have been searching for.

Is this making sense?
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If you are ready to let go of the Why and being to explore the How of healing, I invite you to come join me for my Rewrite Your Story class.❤️