How to do Anger Work
Five minutes to build your emotional connection and peace of mind
Anger is the one emotion we all feel and the one we are most likely to hide from ourselves
The role of Anger in your life
If you have hung out with me for any length of time, chances are you have noticed my affinity for - and outright love of - anger.
Which is funny because anger used to scare the living shit out of me. Seriously.
I can still remember that flood of dread, that hollow ache under my rib cage, that sensation in my belly like I was falling….
Anger used to be the scariest thing in my world and I would do literally ANYTHING to avoid it.
- I would people please.
- I would sacrifice my needs.
- I would give in and then end up hating myself for it.
- I would absorb the pain of the people around me thinking I was helping
Anger was the one emotion that I just… couldn’t… handle… And so when faced with it I would shut down. Lock down. Until eventually I broke down.
And it was in the darkest of places, in the most bottomiest of rock bottoms, that I found a single pearl of truth: anger is important.
Let me say that again. Anger. Is. Important.
Because anger is the emotion that lets us know when we are giving too much. Or receiving too little.
It is an urgent cry from our soul telling us to speak up, stand out, be seen!
And instead of listening to this message we stuff it down. We drown it out. We cover it and hide from it. We do everything we can to avoid the noise and messiness of our anger believing we can outrun it. Until one day we just erupt, spilling it out on to whoever is the closest to us.
Even if that person is ourselves.
Oops.
You see, when we ignore our anger, what we are actually doing is ignoring our Selves. Ignoring Who We Are in favour of Who Others Want Us To Be. And the ripple effect of ickiness that this one simple act of ignorance creates is significant.
This is why I yap about Anger Work.
This is why I hold challenges and tell everyone I can about it.
Because when you stop ignoring your anger you stop ignoring YOU
And that truly is the beginning of everything.
Which is funny because anger used to scare the living shit out of me. Seriously.
I can still remember that flood of dread, that hollow ache under my rib cage, that sensation in my belly like I was falling….
Anger used to be the scariest thing in my world and I would do literally ANYTHING to avoid it.
- I would people please.
- I would sacrifice my needs.
- I would give in and then end up hating myself for it.
- I would absorb the pain of the people around me thinking I was helping
Anger was the one emotion that I just… couldn’t… handle… And so when faced with it I would shut down. Lock down. Until eventually I broke down.
And it was in the darkest of places, in the most bottomiest of rock bottoms, that I found a single pearl of truth: anger is important.
Let me say that again. Anger. Is. Important.
Because anger is the emotion that lets us know when we are giving too much. Or receiving too little.
It is an urgent cry from our soul telling us to speak up, stand out, be seen!
And instead of listening to this message we stuff it down. We drown it out. We cover it and hide from it. We do everything we can to avoid the noise and messiness of our anger believing we can outrun it. Until one day we just erupt, spilling it out on to whoever is the closest to us.
Even if that person is ourselves.
Oops.
You see, when we ignore our anger, what we are actually doing is ignoring our Selves. Ignoring Who We Are in favour of Who Others Want Us To Be. And the ripple effect of ickiness that this one simple act of ignorance creates is significant.
This is why I yap about Anger Work.
This is why I hold challenges and tell everyone I can about it.
Because when you stop ignoring your anger you stop ignoring YOU
And that truly is the beginning of everything.
Why you need this right now
- Anger is the emotion connected with your boundaries, which means it, is directly tied to your sense of self and space and place in the universe. Which means keeping that energy moving will prevent stagnation in your Self and in your other rituals
- Anger is the one emotion that we all feel regularly but hide from ourselves which means it is powerful and often hidden in our Shadow
- Anger is a powerful communication from your Unconscious Mind which is a conduit of your Higher Self
- Anger is the one emotion that we all feel regularly but hide from ourselves which means it is powerful and often hidden in our Shadow
- Anger is a powerful communication from your Unconscious Mind which is a conduit of your Higher Self
How to purge your Anger in 3 easy steps
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STEP ONE: Set your space and pick your Anger tool
There are a variety of tools you can use: Punch a pillow - Strangle a towel or washcloth - Kick a pillow - Scream into a pillow - Smash paper cups.... Get creative! And stay safe. STEP TWO: Set a timer for 2 minutes then go to town! In the beginning you may not feel anger. You may not feel anything at all - and that's totally okay! Whatever happens is perfect for you so just KEEP GOING. |
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Punch, kick, strangle and scream for the full 2 minutes. Feel free to mix it up and use multiple tools in one session. You may find yourself laughing or crying or feeling like a complete idiot. THAT'S OKAY!
STEP THREE: Reset your timer for 3 minutes and write
After you have physically purged your cells of the emotions it is time to connect with your Higher Self and let it flow. Simply grab your journal or a note pad or even just a piece of paper, put your pen on the paper and keep it moving for the full 3 minutes. Write whatever comes up - even if it makes no sense. This is known as Stream of Consciousness writing and it can reveal some pretty profound truths that will help guide you.
NOW RELAX... and take a moment to notice what is different for you.
You have just taken the first step towards connecting with yourself more authentically. As you continue this process you will find yourself feeling lighter. The voice in your head will begin to shift and you may even adopt a brand new perspective on things.
STEP THREE: Reset your timer for 3 minutes and write
After you have physically purged your cells of the emotions it is time to connect with your Higher Self and let it flow. Simply grab your journal or a note pad or even just a piece of paper, put your pen on the paper and keep it moving for the full 3 minutes. Write whatever comes up - even if it makes no sense. This is known as Stream of Consciousness writing and it can reveal some pretty profound truths that will help guide you.
NOW RELAX... and take a moment to notice what is different for you.
You have just taken the first step towards connecting with yourself more authentically. As you continue this process you will find yourself feeling lighter. The voice in your head will begin to shift and you may even adopt a brand new perspective on things.
Anger Work is a great way to move some energy and get things unstuck
Helpful tips to get you started!
- If you are super good at being nice you may not be able to feel anger at all. You may just feel numb. THAT’S OKAY. Even if you feel like you’re just “going through the motions” the magic is happening. Keep going!
- If you have been repressing your Anger for a long, long time it can take up to 21 days of doing this process before you begin to feel anything at all.
- Make sure you set a timer! Time moves differently when you are with your emotions
- Feel free to switch up your Anger Tool and see which works best for you
- Remember that the only way to screw this up is to not do this. Which means that whatever happens for you during this process is PERFECT
- If you have been repressing your Anger for a long, long time it can take up to 21 days of doing this process before you begin to feel anything at all.
- Make sure you set a timer! Time moves differently when you are with your emotions
- Feel free to switch up your Anger Tool and see which works best for you
- Remember that the only way to screw this up is to not do this. Which means that whatever happens for you during this process is PERFECT
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What exactly do you mean when you say “put your pen on the paper and keep it moving” for the whole 3 minutes?
A: This is known as Stream of Consciousness writing and it is something that my creative writing teacher used to have us do every class. And the beauty of this process is that, over time, you can train your thinky-thinky Mental Realm self to get out of the way and open up a conduit directly from your Unconscious Mind, through your pen and onto the page.
When you do this regularly, you’ll be surprised at what little nuggets of awareness will bubble up to help guide you. And this process takes time.
In the beginning your thoughts will get in the way. THAT’S OKAY.
You’ll worry about what to write.
You’ll worry about doing it wrong.
You’ll worry about it not feeling right.
You’ll worry about feeling silly.
You’ll worry about what your partner/kids/neighbours/dog will think.
This. Is. All. Okay.
In fact, it is more than okay. It is a necessary part of this process.
Which means if this is what is happening for you, it means you are doing it perfectly.
Just keep going.
Remember that the ONLY way to screw this up is to not do it. Which means any thing you do is perfect.
Keep going!
Q: I literally don’t have any space in the house that is just mine and I can’t seem to find 5 minutes of privacy to do my Anger Work. I know I need this but I’m afraid if my husband or kids hears me punching stuff they’ll freak out...
A: I totally hear this AND the good news is that we all have a room in the house that is private, has a lock on the door and that we are generally not bothered in. And that room is the bathroom!
Seriously.
If you’re concerned about being heard, choose a less noisy physical purge option (such as strangling a washcloth) and then lock yourself in the bathroom for five minutes and go to town. It’s not the most elegant solution but it does work!
A: This is known as Stream of Consciousness writing and it is something that my creative writing teacher used to have us do every class. And the beauty of this process is that, over time, you can train your thinky-thinky Mental Realm self to get out of the way and open up a conduit directly from your Unconscious Mind, through your pen and onto the page.
When you do this regularly, you’ll be surprised at what little nuggets of awareness will bubble up to help guide you. And this process takes time.
In the beginning your thoughts will get in the way. THAT’S OKAY.
You’ll worry about what to write.
You’ll worry about doing it wrong.
You’ll worry about it not feeling right.
You’ll worry about feeling silly.
You’ll worry about what your partner/kids/neighbours/dog will think.
This. Is. All. Okay.
In fact, it is more than okay. It is a necessary part of this process.
Which means if this is what is happening for you, it means you are doing it perfectly.
Just keep going.
Remember that the ONLY way to screw this up is to not do it. Which means any thing you do is perfect.
Keep going!
Q: I literally don’t have any space in the house that is just mine and I can’t seem to find 5 minutes of privacy to do my Anger Work. I know I need this but I’m afraid if my husband or kids hears me punching stuff they’ll freak out...
A: I totally hear this AND the good news is that we all have a room in the house that is private, has a lock on the door and that we are generally not bothered in. And that room is the bathroom!
Seriously.
If you’re concerned about being heard, choose a less noisy physical purge option (such as strangling a washcloth) and then lock yourself in the bathroom for five minutes and go to town. It’s not the most elegant solution but it does work!
Share your experience and get support
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I invite you to share your journey with me in my Live Life Unbroken group on Facebook.
This is a closed group so anything you post will stay in the group and it’s a great place to get coaching and support from me as you begin to open up and get the energy moving again in your life. |
"When people ask what Jen does, I tell them she is a facilitator of miracles. Because I know this to be true."
